DAY THREE
Growing up I noticed how people outside my home appreciated my creations, so I would make stuff and people would pay me for them! I would play the guitar for my aunts and uncles when they came to visit and then I would pass my guitar around with the hole facing upward so they would throw money inside. I was an entrepreneur! But I understand now that since I did not learn how to value my creativity as I grew older because that was not anything big at home, it was hard for me to keep it up and to continue believing people would like my stuff. So, I kinda lost my way and forgot how to believe in my creations and the fact that people like them. So I started to give away everything I made. I created wonderful pieces of art every day and never signed them so people would come over, ask for them and there they went… Forget about charging for them. But last year I realized I had to change everything about me. I was not happy with my life or my attitude. Seeing this wonderful life coach every week was the best thing for me because I could no longer run away from my problems. I could not avoid my feelings, I could not “pretend” anymore and most important, I could not keep anything from her! Cause she caught me every time! I had to grow up and let me tell you, it was hard but to accomplish that difficult task was the greatest gift.
My bad habits were so engraved in me, I had no idea I had them. She would point out things I did or said, which to me meant nothing, and she would take them apart, piece by piece to show me where those attitudes, reactions, opinions came from and let me just say, she shocked me every time. Comments I made that I did not believe, believes I carried because I did not bother to find out why I had them, thoughts, words, sarcasm and all kinds of unwanted things that were there because I had learned to carry them; reactions to little things that were automatic because nobody ever showed me what I was doing day after day; attitudes and even feelings toward things that I had for years for no reason… they all came out to present themselves in front of this wonderful lady and even though it was so embarrassing to be sitting there trying to excuse myself, trying to explain the inexplicable… thank God it happened with her because she is the best. She really opened my eyes but she did it in such a gentle and sweet way, I learned to like the process.
To complement my sessions, my coach asked me to start listening to Abraham Hicks and even though I was not interested at all, I pushed myself to stay tuned cause that was homework. Let me tell you, listening to these audios on YouTube changed my life in more ways than one. Check them out if you haven’t. Pick any video, whichever gets your attention when you get the list from your search. You will be amazed by how many questions you have are answered by that single video you think you randomly chose.
“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.” Émile Zola
